Who am I?

Something I wrote months ago, on why I took architecture journalism as an elective.

Who am I? I have no clue. There were times when I thought I knew myself- my aspirations, likings, dislikings, all the usual things which build the idea of a person, but I’ve surprised myself by wanting the things I once detested, giving up on long-term dreams, transforming into an unrecognizable person, in a short span of time. So do I really know who I am?

I am an architecture student, who (currently) loves to study architecture, but can’t stand the thought of practicing it. I’m not really  ambitious or passionate about anything in particular, but I can say I like to study architecture.

I can’t recall why I chose to study architecture. I knew nothing about the profession, never noticed the beauty of spaces, colours or texture. Architecture as a career option was never in the picture until the very end, but I was very clear about my decision when it finally did. I decided against joining an engineering college, something I had been preparing for 2 years, to study architecture. After a 4-years-long dynamic relationship, I’m unclear and confused about my future in this profession. I dream of a healthy work-life balance and a profession where all-nighters are not normalised. Nonetheless, I love studying architecture.

I joined this course to force myself to do something I genuinely love, funny isn’t it? Now, writing for me is a very personal way to understand my complicated emotions and thoughts. Somehow it helps me gain control of the situation. Even so, for a person who loves to write, I actually indulge in it very, very rarely. 

I hope this course will help me to expand my vocabulary and express myself better through words. More than that, I hope to write more frequently.